Suddenly, I Write My Novel
Chapter 1
My Head Emerges from a Tiny Hole • I Meet My Parents • Wetting One’s Self •
How the Rent Is Paid • The Mysterious Disappearance of Mother •
Beaten Up by Keith, a Bully • Unlike You, I Am Unloved •
A Singular Experience on the Elevated • I Am Not a Juvenile Delinquent •
Third Period Gym is Awful
Chapter 2
The Essay Contest • I Meet Sheila • I Grow Up Fast •
Witnessing My First Faked Orgasm • At the Diner with the Gang •
Sheila Is a No-Good Trollop • Dad Not at Usual Bar, Goes Missing •
My New Home • The Shearer Boys Will Pay in the End •
After-School Games • I Find a Car • A Trip to the City
Chapter 3
Back Alleys Are a World unto Themselves • The Discovery of ‘Crack’ Cocaine •
Marta Shows the Way • What’s One Businessman Less? •
‘Hitting’ the ‘Rock’ • Marta Seduces Me in a New and Memorable Way •
The Paying of Marta of Forty Dollars • My Corner by the Boxes •
Those Cops Had It Coming • A Rape Interrupted by Visitors
Chapter 4
I Am Not Innocent, But I Tell Everyone I Am • Prison Lacks in Women, and
I Am Mistaken for One • It Is Challenging to Obtain Crack in Prison •
The Sharpening of the Comb • Twelve Days in the Hole • Prison Food Is Worse
Than You Think • Reunion with My Father • Big Jimmy Expires from Comb Stabbing •
I Am Probably Gay • Most of My Father’s Last Words • I Am Alone in the World
Chapter 5
Good Behavior • My New Suit and Someone Else’s Shoes •
A Curious Bus Ride to Texarkana • Reverend Frank’s Proposal •
I Become a Spokesman • My Tour of High School Auditoriums • An After-Dinner Speech •
Lubbock Cheerleaders Are the Finest in the World • I Walk toward San Diego •
Cactus Frenzy • If I Didn’t Take It, Someone Else Would •
On the Docks • Down and Out • I Am Rescued
Chapter 6
My Campaign for the Senate • I Am Right on All the Issues, in Contrast
to My Opponents • Minor Peccadillos • I Miss the First Debate •
Trivial Indiscretions • The Support of Unexpected Allies •
No One Told Me About the Second Debate • I Will Not Run on My Record •
I Am Not the People’s Choice
Chapter 7
Ketel One in Motel Six • Breakfast Buffets Are Too Much Food •
I Lose Sight of My Goals • The Biggest Truck Stop in the West •
I Kill a Visitor • I Meet a Waitress • Love is Still Possible in My
Hardened Heart • Oh, Her Lies, Lies, Lies • I Head North •
They Can’t Pin This One on Me • Another Fuck-Up
Chapter 8
Why I Am Not a Fugitive from a Chain Gang • The Sleeping in Diverse Ditches •
Do Not Call Me That • The Swedish Campers • I Must Make
Substantive Life Changes, and the District Attorney Agrees •
My Arrival in Cuba • Everyone Is Skinny Here • A Favor in Error •
Extradition to Sweden • I Need to Pee, But the Fat Guy on the Aisle Is Asleep •
Customs Doesn’t Suspect a Thing • An Afternoon Swim
Chapter 9
I Am Thoughtful • Exile in Siberia • I Eat Part of Something •
Inexplicable Reunion with Sheila • Apparently I Have a Son • Dreams of a
Better Future for My Boy • Siberia Has Not Changed Sheila from a No-Good Trollop •
A Vision • I Walk Toward the Sun • I Feel Depressed
Chapter 10
Conclusion • Naming Names and Pointing Fingers •
Denial of All Responsibility • Your Pity Required
by Jack, September 18, 2003 5:52 AM | More from Foundational Issues
Within the Chronology
This is about the nicest thing I've read in a real long while.